What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
