4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
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he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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