Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
