Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
