if only i could text you this smell
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
