I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
