Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
