i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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