I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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