At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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