While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
