honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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