Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
