he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
