just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
