I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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