yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
