That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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