90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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