i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
