I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
