this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
