Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
