3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i now understand why vodka
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
