i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
