there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
