I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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