I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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