He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
