Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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