He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
