No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
