Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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