O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
