I'm gonna have a badass scar
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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