the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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