i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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