How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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