Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
