just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
