a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
