I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
