He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I forget how to act sober
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
