So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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