is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
