JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
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I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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