I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
