I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
