Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
