I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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