You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Apparently you make a good broom.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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