I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
