We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
