He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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