u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
