ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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