Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
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I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
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To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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