I could make wine with my vomit
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
wow bdsm is so cute
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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