hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
