Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
