walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
