i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
